So what the frig is a Dwelf you ask? well let me tell the curious day that my life changed and the Elf stepped through the shroud and was no more.
There was a day when I looked over the posts in the square of Waterdeep while attempting to avoid the City Watch and the dark cloaked Waterdhavian. The City Watch aren't too happy with me for a little bit of a mishap and the Waterdhavian, well they just don't like unregistered magic users running amuck which my previous company of quest mates were. So for the time being I have been having to keep hidden and make ends meet how I can.
On this day in question I found a ad posted looking for a individual with crafty fingers and nimble toes that can help a party get through some treacherous paths. The parchment promises gold for all those involved that don't worry about the eye of Xanthar. Xanthar, well yeah I'm not to up on being killed or stalked by his band of theives, but I need the gold and the if the gold is good I won't be staying around Waterdeep too long anyways.
I went down to the Castle District and traipsed Rainrun street to the Yawning Portal Inn. I waltzed in and sat down at an unoccupied corner table. I decided to just lay the parchment I pulled from the post on the table just to draw some attention to get this thing started. I was eventually approached by a wizard that was only half the elf that would be acceptable, a human barbarian that looked like he had better days and had a lazy eye so I wasn't sure if he was looking at me or the oversized bar maid bent over the next table over, and a Dwarven bard which in my opinion was just an outcast that didn't know how to pick up a war hammer. The names of this traveling party are of no importance, due to the fact they do not deserve being remembered by them.
Jumping ahead a little we offered up our gold coins and once they were bit to ensure they were the true thing we descended down the mouth of the portal to the Underdark.
Fast forward a few days worth of traveling through the depths of the caverns we encountered a kobold gang. Things are going what would be called acceptable and then the bard goes and breaks his lute in a stumble and can no longer keep charming the kobold mage. Yeah and that ended up ending the breathing capacity of the axeless bard. Shortly there in the kobolds being close to all being defeated by some fancy knife work on my behalf, the barbarian's slash and smash techniques, and the wizard's magic missiles (which he insisted on making whooshing sounds to every time he blast one forth) decide to recede into the shadows once again to lick their wounds. The wizard decided that he would attempt to raise the bard back to the living. Myself I felt he was a dead weight, even when breathing. I sat and sharpened my daggers while waiting for the wizard to fumble through an old tome. I should have known something was up when the wizard was having troubles even pronouncing the name of the spell twice the same way. Yeah and the next bad idea was letting the wizard use one of my daggers as his athame for his little attempt at resurrection, but I just wanted to get this over with so we could eat and then quest on. Lets just say the spell went horribly wrong. The bard ended up all over the walls of the cave passage, doused the small fire we had, and ruined my last good traf of edible meat I had cooking for a refreshing meal. We were all knock out from the blast and I seemed to be the last one to awake. Stunned and attempting to gain my sense of what happened I see a look of complete shock and what seemed to be confusion or maybe fear on the wizard and barbarian's faces. Yeah it had to be bad if the barbarian was looking that scared. I looked down at my hands and could not see them directly. For some reason I had a huge beard on my once clean shaven Elven face. I brush down the beard and am shocked by the now pudgy fat fingers where I used to have long slender ones. What in Corellon's name! The spell the frig wizard read was from a Dwarven mage's books of spells and the half elf didn't know Dwarven so the spell went side ways badly. Some how the spell blasted the bard to bits and me to a stumpy, hairy stink, of a now half naked"used to be elf". My clothes are in tatters since I bulged out and distorted. I had to rummage through the bard's pack to find something half worth wearing so I didn't have to quest on naked.The quest was abandoned due to the death of the bard and the fact the barbarian went blitzburg on the wizard for killing the "fancy panted stumpy man that makes pretty sounds" go splat splat. Once we got back to the mouth of the portal and back to the Yawning Portal Inn we were approached by a cloaked human that approached me and asked, "Is it done? Is the Elf dead?" I took it that this human thought I was the bard. I advised him that yes it was but we left his body decaying as spider fodder. He hands me a cinch of coins and then disappears into the crowd. The barbarian slaps me on the back almost knocking me over and says "Yes! Now short fuzzy confused man buy meade!!" I give the barbarian half the coins and he drops the wizard and all the gear at a table and stomps off to quench his thirst at the bar. I sort through the gear and the wizard's belongings pack them into a satchel and slip out the door and into the darkness not looking back.
My life was just then no longer mine. My life was of someone else s coin. Who wanted me dead, Why couldn't remember all of my past before the day I read the parchment for the quest to the deep for gold? And where by a hairless gnolls uncle was I going to find some pant's that fit me at this hour of the night??